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Hey, so there's this guy who I've had a thing with for about 9 months.. the first while it was great, we had so much fun together, but he started treating me badly not too long into our relationship and since it is long distance things have been on and off for quite sometime. I have tried to forget about him like a lot of my friends have suggested but I just can't. I know he is no good for me, but I can't help what I feel for him. Anyways, this past weekend we spent together with some friends...and he was a real jerk to me..so when I returned home I was quite upset and wanted to get back at him.. I wanted him to know he isn't in control of me. So I put myself in a fake relationship on face-book. (of course I wasn't really dating anyone I just wanted to make him jealous ) sure enough, right away he began talking to me and was surprisingly nice! This made me happy, so I decided to keep it going.. A few days went by and we hadn't talked, and then this afternoon when I was coming home from work I got a text from him asking "how's the boy?" this is exactly what I wanted! Him to be jealous and want to win me back.. But as the conversation continued I realized this wasn't what I wanted..even tho he was able to hurt me all the time and not think twice, knowing I'm hurting him makes me feel awful. My initial plan was to end the fake relationship in two weeks (right before I see him next) but now I found out he is not able to attend the event at which we were initially both going to.. And therefore I can't see him for over a month.. I don know what to do, when should I end the fake relationship? I don't want to keep it going to long in fear of him being with over girls, but at the same time I don't want him to think I was never over him..? (if that makes any sense)... He has already set a few face-book status saying "I knew this would happen" and things like that. I think if I end the fake relationship immediately he will go back to treating me with no respect, but at the same time I hate hurting him and don't want him to move on, because I am so not ready too! I really want things to work out between us but i don't know what to do! Any advice at all would be much appreciated! And my apologies for the length!
have you tried telling him you dont like it when he is hurtful to you? and by telling i dont mean 'hey, stop it i dont like that', i mean seriously discussing things with him and how they make you feel in depth. and what do you mean by hurtful? is it verbal or physical? or both?
You know, you're too good for him. But I am not going to tell you to forget him, only you can make that decision, and people can't just "forget" something. You will remember it for the rest of your life.
What you can do however, is to move on. It does not mean you should forget him, it means to get used to your life without him as your boyfriend. A jerk is a jerk and you deserve to be treated as a person, just like anyone else. End that lie of yours and move on. Cry it all out, punch pillows, listen to depressing music, anything that helps.
You just have to take yourself out of there.
"If I do good, people might accuse me of selfish, ulterior motives, but I will still do it. Because I believe no one is malicious, not in their core, in their raw being.
The best in them is clouded by sorrows and fears, take those away and you'll bring out the brightest of lights in them.
Because no one can be happy without being kind, without giving ourselves to another, and we all love to give ourselves, it is our true nature.
That is why, even if I might get disappointed, I'll always give the best I've got. A single candle can light a thousand others and still burn." - Skezra
i say end the fake relationship now and try ur best to move on..u can still be his friend but u should be with a guy who respects you and truly wants to be with you for you, the guy sounds like a jerk and yeah its hard but you can do it...itll make you stronger
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~I gave you my heart, but you crushed it all over again~
To be honest, I think you have to do what is in your best interest. You have highlighted some really valid issues. So, the first step would be to talk to him about it. Explain to him how it affects/hurts you, etc.
If he continues to go about hurting you and being disrespectful, then it is quite obvious you deserve far better. If he is intentionally going out of his way to be a jerk and to hurt you as such, then does he really care?
Thanks you all for your advice! Yes, I have talKed to him before, but he never really gets Iit. I don't know if he honestly thinks he is treating right, or If he just doesn't care. I know he is capableof being loving and sweet, but I'm sick of waiting and hoping he will change.
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Fake boyfriend..?
