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So i have always hung out with same group scince i was in 9nth grade. im now in 11, and this group is starting to bug me. i call these people my familey, my sisters and brothers, people i come to when i don't have answers. Well now other people, they think that these people are a bad influence on me, and the worst part is that i know it deep down. These people started me on drugs, and smoking and stuff like that, but i can't just leave them and find new friends can i?? not when im known to be like those other people right???
It depends really. If they made you start smoking and start using drugs, then they're a bad influence without question.
So your choices are:
To keep hanging out with them, but make clear that you don't want to get involved in such things. If they're really your friends, they should understand. If they force you, they're not friends.
Leave them and get some better friends.
Only you can decide who you hangout with, but choose wisely, it's your future that's at stake here. Drugs will ruin your entire life.
"If I do good, people might accuse me of selfish, ulterior motives, but I will still do it. Because I believe no one is malicious, not in their core, in their raw being.
The best in them is clouded by sorrows and fears, take those away and you'll bring out the brightest of lights in them.
Because no one can be happy without being kind, without giving ourselves to another, and we all love to give ourselves, it is our true nature.
That is why, even if I might get disappointed, I'll always give the best I've got. A single candle can light a thousand others and still burn." - Skezra
Well staying friends with them and avoiding the drugs is easy to start. Just say no, it's that simple. They can't force you to do anything as long as you stand your ground and make it clear that you're going to start making your own decisions instead of going with what the group wants to do.
If you choose to make different friends, then I agree it's harder to get started. There's no easy way to tell someone that you don't want to be friends with them. Perhaps you could come to an agreement that you'll only continue to hang out with them if they don't do drugs when you're there?
It sounds like these people are good friends to you other than getting you started smoking and doing drugs, so I don't believe that you need to quit being friends with them altogether. I think the most important thing is that you understand that those things are wrong and accept that their behavior is wrong in that sense. Once you are able to hang out with them, yet still make decisions that you know are right for you, I think you can still be friends with them.
My sister and I both have friends that drink and do drugs, but as long as we don't adopt that behavior, it's ok. They are still great friends. Just focus on your own maturity and choose to leave or distance yourself from your friends when you feel you are in danger of adopting the bad habits again.
And always remember to choose your health above pleasing your friends. If they can't respect your choice to quit smoking and taking drugs, then you absolutely need to find people who can.
If the friends you are hanging out with are being a bad influence then perhaps it is time to find some new friends. Maybe you could look around and find the people who are alone. Like the person who eats lunch alone or you could be a good influence to someone who gets picked on it might be hard but im sure there is someone who feels left out. I know at my school I was an outsider but I made friends after someone came up to me and noticed that I was alone. We ended up becoming good friends. You never know you might make a new friend. It's just something that has worked for me in the past.
R.I.P Daddy 1971-2005,I love you and I miss you <3
The engine is the heart of an airplane, but the pilot is its soul. ~Walter Raleigh
From the sound of it you are more afraid of other peoples thoughts than what you want. If these people are bringing you down why continue to associate with them? Simple as that my friend.
There are times where we have to "cut" people out of our lives. We generally don't want to do so, but there are times where it is best that we do.
This could be one of those times. I would suggest you think long and hard about this friend group. You've acknowledged that its a bad influence on you - so how do you fix this? You can stand up to you friends and say 'no' to the drugs/smoking, or you can continue about it.
Thanks to everyone who helped me. its going to take some time to figure out who i really am and who i really want to be, but well hmmm, i think i will manage.
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