[|t'S ME]

So ,how do you deal with spoiled kids?

I mean, Ive just known a little girl aged 6 . She was really cute at the first time . but when I know her better she's like , sometimes very nice sometimes very bad. I know maybe she's just a little girl and I shouldnt be angry. But I just wanna know how to deal with such a kid. ,,well she 's not willing to share anything when we play games or eat some snacks. She's not that innocent, she knows things even how to flatter people. and when she sees her brother playing with me then she copies him, by playing a bit violent like the boy does. she begins to use her feet to me ! sometimes she's trying to annoy me ,and sometimes pretending not to talk to me when I call her name. and suddenly she calls me to listen to music or play with the rabbit(and then when I see the rabbit she's like, no no I will carry it ,not you)-- she calls me to sit beside her watching barbie. she reads a fable and have me listening . she combs my hair . we laugh together, but sometimes it's silent. When she gets my hairbrush and I want it back she says no and tries to let me see when she's doing something with my brush, like hands it out of the window (but not throw it away) ,hides it , etc.

Anyway I think that it's because she sees her brother does like that and she thinks it's fun so she copies him everything. But sometimes it's too much and I get really annoyed, sometimes i feel losing grip. The other thing I notice that her parents dont punish her when she does things that are not appropriate. I think she's spoiled . she always gets whatever she wants. But what do i know--maybe this is general for some kids, cause not all of the kids are like this.

I just wanna know how to spend time together happily . I love being around little kids it makes me happy . But I never met this kind of kid . Children I know are very nice. What can I do to make things better ?

Thanks much friends

[pinkmuffin]

well, i don't know what to do with that girl... but i remember how i dealt with such a kid.

last year there was a girl in my bus, 6 years old as well, sometimes nice, sometimes nasty, very loud and bitchy and absolutely annoying. she always had a teddy bear with her, so one day it was enough... i grabbed the teddy, put it at a place where she wouldn't get it and told her i'd threw it out of the window if she wouldn't sit down, shut up and behave. at first she wouldn't listen to me, but time after time it took less time for her to understand.

once she really didn't react, and i took the teddy with me. it was risky, because she yould have told her mom, but she didn't. the next day i gave the teddy back to her - after she had behaved very nice.

since that day she never made problems again, now she even likes me (don't know why, i'm not forcig her to be with me or so oO) and tells other kids to be quiet and to sit down. i don't know why it worked so well, but it did, and she never was afraid, only angry sometimes... until she understood how to play the game.^^

[|t'S ME]

Originally Posted by pinkmuffin

last year there was a girl in my bus, 6 years old as well, sometimes nice, sometimes nasty, very loud and bitchy and absolutely annoying.

Thank you so much pinkmuffin : ))
The girl is like that ,definitely,sometimes nice, sometimes nasty, very loud and bitchy and absolutely annoying = =

Well I really think your suggestion could work. I think I'm too kind to her-- pamper her to much* I always try to please her and play with her cause I'm afraid she would be upset and I dont want it to be like that. But she always takes my things from me too= = so I think if I grab her toys she would grab my things too like she dont care

but thanks for your help anyway

[Sam1]

Hi Abbi,

Well, a few things come to mind here. First, remember that it is not your responsibility to discipline or scold this child...regardless of how much she annoys you or how much you might think she either deserves it or would benefit from it...it's the job of her parents to determine how to deal with misbehaviour, not yours.

OK, that said, it's important to recognize that a lot of what she's doing is pretty normal 'Six'..wanting all the attention, wanting to do everything her self, etc. Really little kids (like Six) tend to be enormously self focused naturally...yet they also seek the approval and attention of the Big people around them. So, using that understanding of Six, you can work with her by using yourself as the reward to help shape some of her more obnoxious behaviours. For instance, if she kicks you (which is a clear no no), you can very exaggeratedly say 'OWW!..THAT HURT! YOU HURT ME!!' and then limp away, telling her that you don't want to be with someone who hurts you. When you come back you can tell her calmly that what she did wasn't ok, that it hurt you, and that when she does things like that you're going to leave again.

A lot of it is remembering that your expectations of the time with Six needs to be based on their actual abilities, not your needs..and that if it gets overwhelming for you, you should remove yourself. Little kids are really adorable and a lot of fun...but they can also be draining b/c of their constant needs.

[|t'S ME]

Thank you very much Spock
you have me thinking. yes, its not my business to discipline her -- so I should not

if she kicks you (which is a clear no no), you can very exaggeratedly say 'OWW!..THAT HURT! YOU HURT ME!!' and then limp away, telling her that you don't want to be with someone who hurts you. When you come back you can tell her calmly that what she did wasn't ok, that it hurt you, and that when she does things like that you're going to leave again.

I like this , but I dont know how I should make my face. should I frown, or smile kindly, or pretend to be very sad?

[ThreewayWithJesus]

I can not stand that type of child, I just can not.
I have absolutely no tolerance of unacceptable behaviour.
I'm plain straight with children, if one of them is out of line, depending on the severity of the 'offense' I'll either give them a slight warning such as a stern face and a 'Please don't do that, it's not alright' but if they do it again or do something really bad, I go into Nazi mode and tell them off in a harsh tone, no physical discipline though, that's up to parents to smack their children.

It might also be good to introduce a few rules if you're going to look after them. I babysit my cousin who is 8, but I've babysat since she was 6. I set out a few simple rules like:
-No hitting or kicking
-Use manners
-No bad words/names etc.
If they do something wrong, don't ignore it and continue playing, this sends the message that it's okay to do these things. My cousin soon learnt bad behaviour meant the TV was switched off or she didn't get dessert or something. If they kick up a fuss, simply ignore the behaviour, children thrive off attention.

[Violet Surrender]

Beat them.

[|t'S ME]

Originally Posted by ThreewayWithJesus

I can not stand that type of child, I just can not.
I have absolutely no tolerance of unacceptable behaviour.
I'm plain straight with children, if one of them is out of line, depending on the severity of the 'offense' I'll either give them a slight warning such as a stern face and a 'Please don't do that, it's not alright' but if they do it again or do something really bad, I go into Nazi mode and tell them off in a harsh tone, no physical discipline though, that's up to parents to smack their children.

It might also be good to introduce a few rules if you're going to look after them. I babysit my cousin who is 8, but I've babysat since she was 6. I set out a few simple rules like:
-No hitting or kicking
-Use manners
-No bad words/names etc.
If they do something wrong, don't ignore it and continue playing, this sends the message that it's okay to do these things. My cousin soon learnt bad behaviour meant the TV was switched off or she didn't get dessert or something. If they kick up a fuss, simply ignore the behaviour, children thrive off attention.

Oh, thanks sarah: )*

It's a real good way . But I dont know if I should smile and say "PLease dont," or simply say"no, I dont like that"-- so?

[hurrtnsyd]

in our country, we spank them.

[|t'S ME]

No, thats not possible
i'm not her mom! just visit her sometimes but then I have to play with her all day
I just want things to flow well and happily every time we meet, thats all ···