[Lando]

Originally Posted by violet sky

:O I'm appalled that your minister would even suggest such a thing as kicking the girl and AN INNOCENT CHILD out on the street. That's disturbing to me. It seems to me like he doesn't care what happens to the girl or the child because she's not Christian.

That aside, I'm sorry about the whole situation. Unfortunately, as others have said, there's nothing you can really do at this point. You brother has to want help for himself and until that happens, I highly doubt that he's fit to raise a child anyway.

He doesn't just want us to kick them out on the street. He thinks that if we do, then it will force my brother to be responsible and take care of them. I see his side. I know that he is trying to be helpful, but he just doesn't know my brother.

[Sam1]

Keir, there are two issues here. The first is what's best in this situation. The second is your role. The second part is the easier one to address, b/c frankly as a kid you can't do much, other than be supportive of your nephew and maybe provide a third opinion with your folks if they ask or they'll listen.

When I mentioned your minister, my thought was based on the strength of your religious values and the idea that he could intervene with all of them in a counselling kind of way, to meet and discuss the situation and try to resolve this..not necessarily for your folks to talk with the minister alone.. because any solution here really requires your brother's participation and acceptance. Throwing he and your baby nephew out isn't an option, there's an infant involved, and your brother is clearly impaired now and cannot care for the needs of an infant unsupervised.

So, what "Dr. Sam" would suggest is that they calmly try to discuss their concerns about this situation in light of your brother's responsibility as a parent, and that unless he agree to get some help and get himself together, they are going to file for (at least temporary) custody of the baby...and then, throw him out. So, either there's a comprehensive plan to get his life together (which the entire family agrees on and works with)...or they step in and protect the baby and he can live his life as he see's fit..elsewhere.

The plan needs to keep the priority on the baby, he's the most vulnerable member here, and based on that, your folks (with ministerial or legal help) needs to work on a plan to stabilize his functioning not so much because of any specific behavior he's engaging in, but frankly because he is grossly irresponsible as a parent.

[M. Sanity]

I might have missed out on something, but i read that this brother has an altar, covered with posters, and might be a Satanist.

What pops in my mind is: is it really a good idea to try and get them together, while he is a Satanist? Who knows what might happen. I'm not saying you shouldn't try, but i'd also try to get rid off the Satanistic behaviour.

I had my experiences with such behaviours, and it never ended well with the person's girlfriend. These people always get really agressive, or trying to convert those close to them.

Still, in any form or shape, not a nice package to be in. Best of luck.