[chill]

ohey, i just got off the phone wiht my girlfriend.. and wow :\ i am surprised right now.. and this was the first place that came to mind to ask what to do, cuz im honestly lost..

alright, so i called my gf to swim today at my gym.. and her dad and little bro tagged along so her bro goes in to the changeroom to change but her dad and her were still in the car, talking. so when she came in the pool she had shades on, i knew something was up cuz she never does, i took off her shades and her eyes were red, i knew she was crying.. and i asked her what was wrong and she started crying like lets not talk about it, so i just hugged her, and her dad looked, and hes like ok! stop? cuz he had lectured me and her spereatly in the past about not hugging/kissing in public cuz idk, hes messed. but anyway we 'swum' sortof.. and then later on tongiht i asked her what was wrong, and so she told me like the stuff he said and GOD that guy is MESSED man :\ hes like once you and that guy (me) break up you're just gonna be crying alll day and stuff and how shes not a good person anymoree and what not and that its been 5 months me and her are goin out so why dont you have sex so he can leave you WTF. and then hes like in 3 months when he leaves you we'll see what happens and so i heard this and im like k. WTF. but thats not where it ends, her dad makes her do co-op 6am to 4pm everyday and then work 6pm to about 10 sometimes 9 30, she has some rainy days off like today cuz its an icecream place, so we barely see each other alone now cuz her dad always comes swimming and thats the only thing we can do or allowed to do.. and she doesnt even want to do this co-op and job but he still makes her, and it doesnt make sense cuz the co-op is an open course while we're academic students, so the course doesnt help her, but hes always mean about it and says 'welcome to reality' and what not.. anyway the coop is pretty hard, she has to catch fish, swim everywhere n stuff and other hard stuff, so she was tired and looking away in the window, so he pulls over the car. and says, i honestly wanna smack your face right now.. and that brought up the hitting part, she told me that he used to hit her, he hasnt done it in about a year ish but he still does to her little bro when hes mad.. and she didnt call the cops back then cuz she was scared.. now shes 17 so im guessing she wont care calling them.. and then idk, if any of you read but i had this post way back, about her hurting herself because she lost her grandparents.. and yeah her dad.. he knew about this cuz she found the stuff in his drawer, and she was crying that maybe he wants her liek that.. and he says shes a really bad person and what not :| this guy, is a really angry person.. he has pills and stuff for his anger and stuff but she says he never takes them.. i mean i didnt even know about all this until today and now it bothers me and makes me sad that i cant do anythign about it.. i need advice? and seriously i didnt even know what to say to make her feel better.. i was having the most confused/wierd/surprised experience.. but i turned the whole thing around into about us, and like said sweet things, make her laugh, said goodnight and all that, but i know she probably wont sleep right away.. and i obviously just put the thing away, not handle itt.. now i cant even look at the guy the same way anymore cuz it was soo sad :\ she was crying and im so shaked right now .. i wish you guys could experience this its SAD, and i wanna do something.. please help.

[chill]

forgot to mention, but my gf said that he was saying this stuff to actually hurt my feelings and hurt me, he was 'jabbing' her, i didnt know what that meant, but shes like its when you wanna make someone hurt and you know exactly what to say, like with low blows.. and mistakes, etc. :\

[Danny14]

That's crazy!

[Elle]

I would just ignore her dad and prove him wrong about yourself!

[Danny14]

my advice is that you should have done some editing and revising before posting. i honestly quit reading before i got to 25%. too messy and confusing. stick to the main points, and you can add the details later as required when people start giving feedback\suggestions\advice. when a post is just one huge mess most people skip it because its way too much work to sort it out. if the author is not going to take the time, why would anyone else?

[Sam1]

Well, there's not much you can do here, he's not your dad, and besides, it sounds like he's pretty inflexible anyways, so he wouldn't respond to well to anything said to him.

I'd try to stay out of it and just enjoy the relationship with your g/f as best you can, keep your head low here. Be supportive, but also remember that means not getting too involved or saying things that are provocative to your g/ to get her further upset or..worse...provoke her to confront her dad.

[Gray]

yeah well its difficult... if you try to talk to him he might kill you

lolol

prove him wrong with your actions..

[Amy94]

I say prove him wrong. He's obviously really manipulative and knows exactly how to make her feel like crap. Well that's where you come in, and do the opposite. Do everything you know to make her feel good about herself and make her feel special and let her know nothing her dad said counts. And in the process you'll be proving him wrong. That you're not just going to leave her the way he says you will, that you're there to stay.

[M. Sanity]

Yea, proving wrong sounds like a plan...but people msut also admit that some poeple are stubborn and CAN`T be proven wrong.

These are my two cents:
Either
-Try to prove him wrong if you can
-Find a solution together with your girlfriend
-Leave the girl altogether

Yea, i know that last point seems out of the picture. Girlfriend sad, you sad, dad wins.
But if the dad ain't possible to prove wrong, and he keeps prodding away, it might be for the better.
I mean, would it be worth it if you'd stick with her even though she recieves all the emotional blows?

Also, apart from this problem, i also read the dad used to hit your girlfriend, and still hits the younger brother.
I'd call Protective Services on him. You can't just stand idly by while you know that madman is slapping his offspring.
I'm sure your girlfriend would think the same thing.

[chill]

@M.Sanity yeah, she wanted to before.. but she was too scared to call protective services, and now i think the reason he doesnt hit her is because he knows that shes confident enough to call.

okay, so new problem arised, let me give a bit of a past and then ill tell you the problem.. i go to a gym with a pool, and i got a membership that i can bring one person in with me, so i used to get my gf with me, and her dad saw the pool and stuff and bought a memebership.. cuz apparently he used to swim everyday.. so anyway, that was one spot that where me and her could enjoy life. without being worried of anyone, our alone time basically. and that was gone, so i was walking out my gym today and her dad was driving in to the pool.. and he saw me, he stops the car and says, you guys have to slow down or else im gonna have to end your relationship and believe me i can do it. and then hes like i saw some pictures today that were really bad, and what ? you guys advertise this to the world now? im like uhh no ( i mean all the pictures we take, we dont put on facebook or anywhere, its for us.) hes like well do you want your dad and mum to see these? im like uh no, hes like well too bad im gonna have to. AHH, k im a different race. i am not white, i am brown. my parents are strictly against dating, etc.. basically, us brown people.. we live 2 different lives, social life, and house life. any association of these two lives coming together can result in bad consequences. it feels bad but we have to lie about several things.. this was one of them, my dad last night was questioning me because i found out by her dad today that he talked to my dad earlier.. and now this my dads gonna FREAKKK :| i feel so fuckkedd right now this is so bad. why cant he just give us a break!! its not like we're doing anything bad! my gf is like, hes only doing this to hurt us, WHY IS HE SUCH AN ASSHOLE!!!? and what do i doo about this ? :|