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Location: England - Hertfordshire - Hemel Hempstead
Posts: 914
Stuck in a position
So me and my friend were talking about stuff and she decided to tell me something.
Basically on a school trip on a hike, she fell asleep in her friends tent, this guy (He's 17) had known this girl for about 4 hours. While she was asleep he fingered her... Please bear in mind she was 14 at the time and wearing three layers of clothing.
Now, she doesn't wanna tell anyone (She has counseling due to her self-harming) and has major trust issues, she doesn't want people to know because they'll think she's a slag and they'll all talk (Fucking secondary school)
Now other than try to advise her to tell her counselor (She thinks that they will tell her parents) I don't know what to do, is it my duty to tell someone, or keep quiet?
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ALL POSTS ARE MADE BY ME AND FEATURE MY OPINION ONLY AND ARE NOT FACT UNLESS STATED
Wow. Tough spot u are in. I bet u will here advice ranging from definitely don't tell like ever to definitely tell like yesterday soon, and all in between. First off she confided in you so she must like and trust u. That's cool. U must be cool. So whatever u decide to do though, continue being a good friend with/to her. Frequently ask her how she is doing with this incident and all other past incidents. Regarding telling sumbody, my advice would be not just yet. I mean yes technically what the fucker did was a crime so i can see why people would say to do something. But my concern is primarily with her and not the dickhead molester (who may just be a horny bastard and may never do it again, on the other hand he may turn into a serial rapist and should have his nutsack torn off and sent to juvenile jail). But back to her, just be a good friend and sounding board for her to talk with. If it seems like she is not getting over it, then by all means tell sumbody.
First off, I don't believe her. No matter how tired anyone is, someone else doesn't get under the blanket, and three layers of clothes and fingers her without her waking up unless she was drugged or something. Also, why would the guy have only fingered her? That seems unlikely...especially since she doesn't want to tell anyone. Id just let it go. Even if it's true I don't see what the big deal is, it's just fingering, even if she's 14 she clearly knew what it was.
Well, I'm also skeptical. I think it just wasn't what she wanted, and it turned out badly.
But, if she is telling the truth, continue to urge her to see the school counselor. I believe it is doctor-student relationship in which the doctor can be sworn to secrecy. Also, I strongly suggest explaining to her that not all men are like that, and that he was just a dick.
“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”- Nelson Mandela
I agree with 'Tiffany', its a sexual act, and any sexual act performed without consent is classed as rape in the United Kingdom. I see that your from England, so I think the best course of action for you would either be to go to her GP on her behalf, go with her etc and get her GP to refer her to CAMHS (Child Adolecsent Mental Health Service), don't be pu off by the name, they are actually a really good service that can provide counselling, group therapy etc and assess the individuals needs. If worst comes to worst and you cant get her to go, it will be had, and she may be angry at you for a bit but I would suggest telling her parents.
But always be careful, as with anything, there could be more to this than bats the eye, you never know..
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17 - Single - UK
"People ask me if I like football. Yes I do like Football, but Burnley? Burnley can fuck off" - Will Mckenzie.
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Stuck in a position
