[amylouise21]

Hey everybody! I've not been around for a while, way too much stress.


Anyways, I've come here to post, that I feel like I want to run away, or kill myself..

My day.. 24/11/11

I talked to my school police officer today and yesterday,(Yesterday I just said to him, ‘what would you do if you knew somebody would run away’ then he said that he’d adivse them not to.. the bell went so I didn’t have chance to finish, then today I sat down where he stands on the field, he came up to me and smiled.. then I said ‘Anyways we didn’t finish off talking yesterday!’ then he said ‘Oh yeah I forgot..’ he said if I don't tell like a auntie or anything, I will get put into care.. (wth?) I just said I don't wan’t to tell none of my family, so then he also said to me 'who in school do you trust?' I said 'You and Miss Herapath' so he told me to go and talk to her, and I said 'But I don't like going up to her' and then next thing I knew he was radio-ing her through his walkie talkie, so off I went to see her, PC Gomersall escorting me.. so we found her, and he said 'Shes got some problems, personal type she wants to talk to you about' so she went 'Ok Amy, lets go sit down..' so we went and sat down, and I said..
'right, I don't know how to say it. .' and then she said 'One of those days?' and I went 'no.. yes.. oh I don't know.' and then 2 people from my pe class came to get there stuff out of their lockers, and as soon as they walked through Miss Herapath said 'C'mon girls, hurry up' and then they went, so we started talking again, and I turned around and PC Gomersall was there, so I like said to her 'I didn't dare come up to you and tell you about it I don't like coming up to you' and then she said 'well the amount of times you've come to me before it should be easy!' and then I said ' I feel like I want to run away because of school, also stuff going on at home, my mum won't let me do any hobbies' and she went, 'well what kind of hobbies do you want to do?' and I said 'Irish Dancing or Dog Agility..' and then she went 'oohh Dancing! have you done it recently?' and I went 'I started when I was 3 but I haven't done it for a while now' and she went 'oohh another hidden talent' and then I went 'there’s loads of stuff you don't know about me!'and then we got onto school work.. I was saying to her 'I can't do English,Maths, Science or Geography at all' and then she said she gets a list at beginning of each year, saying which pupils need extra help etc, and you're not on that'... and then I said I was on like a E in Science, and she said to me 'Running away isn't going to solve anything.. both of us know that.... and where would you run away to?' and I went 'yes I know, but it might prove a point.. And to my friend in Norfolk' and then she said 'who do you know in Norfolk?' and I said 'Somebody who you don't' and she went 'I know its fine, you don't have to tell me.. is the person your age or older?' and I said 'Older but I know her well..' and she said 'Ahh alright then. Talk to your mum about the hobbies' then I said 'if I say the words dog, agility or Irish dancing she turns off and won’t listen to me!' and she said 'Don't be so specific then, say to her that you want to do some hobbies, and it will look good on your CV when you apply for college and jobs.' and then she said 'do you have any idea why she won't let you do hobbies?' and I said 'she can't afford it I don't think' and she said 'At least you have built up a relationship with PC Gomersall through the i11 project' and I said 'yep, before it I didn't even talk to him!' and then she said 'you've even stood up and done assembly's, a few weeks ago you've of never of wanted to do that!' and I went 'I know, never doing it again!' and she went 'well that's fine then, your not the kind of person to stand up in front of people or be in new situations!' and I went 'haha I know' then she also said, 'there is other people you could talk to, and other ways.. and we both know Email is definitely not one' and then she asked me what lesson I was in, and I said 'P.E' and she went 'do you have your kit? ' and I said 'yep' she asked me where it was, for me to go get it and for her to take me to my lesson.. so I got it, she took me to my lesson and told my P.E Teacher 'Amy was with me sorry she's late' (about half a hour late!) and then I went ‘Thanks miss!’ and then I got changed, went into the sports hall, and everybody was asking me what is up and everything...

I'm hopefully going to try talk to my mum about it.

She also told me to write stuff down if I don’t want to talk to people.. . also she said I could go and talk to her any time like I used to.

[Some]

Good luck <3 They seem like good persons who want's you the best. I hope your mom can see, that you want to do the things that'll make you happy - and you can afford it some day.

[amylouise21]

Thanks-_-

I told my mum.. I told her I wanted to run away, What was going on in my mind..

she shouted at me and basically told me to get a grip.
Also at parents evening, Walked through the door, Miss Herapath was there, she said Hi to me and mum, when I was stood in the corridor, PC Gomersall walked past and said ‘HIYA HOWS YOU’ to my mum.. an when we was sat down, I looked at miss Herapath and she suddenly looked away..

After period 2, I had to leave early to go do assembly (i11 project) and I walked through the Concourse, I saw Miss Fox and Miss Herapath, Miss Herapath asked me if I was ok, and she said to me ‘how come you are out of lesson?’ and then I said ‘fine I guess.. and doing that assembly.’ And she said ‘alright, I will let you off!’

So in Assembly, I read the scripts and they showed the video of me being a mugger, I couldn’t stop laughing because I was embarrassed and it was funny.. and I looked at the people in assembly and they was all looking at me.. and I looked at Mr McAllister, he was smiling and shaking his head at me.. and I came out of assembly, went to wait at Chloe’s Locker, and PC Gomersall came out and asked me ‘Why are you out of form? And are you ok?’ and I replied ‘I did that assembly, so embarrassing and good I guess..’ and he asked me why it was embarrassing, and I told him about the video, and he said there is no reason to be embarrassed. And then he went onto break duty.
Met Chloe, I went to the toilet, people called me a thief in the corridor.
So today at lunch, I tried to find PC Gomersall at lunch, I saw him drive off, So at the end of the day i was walking behind him, and he went to his office, (next to Chloe’s locker where I wait) and I said to him 'I tried to find you today but you drove off!' then he went 'Oh sorry.. I went to a meeting at Colne Valley.' And then he said 'Did you talk to Miss Herapath?' and i said 'yep ' and then I said to him,’ I told my mum on way to parents evening, why i want to run away and what’s going on in my head, and she told me to give my head a shake!(meaning get a grip!)’ and then he said 'Well, next step, talk to a family member, auntie.. uncle etc.. promise?' but i ignored him, and then he went.. ‘don’t forget to tell me, and have a good weekend!'

[Gray]

Good luck! thanks for sharing