[platypus_92]

A friend of mine who I'll call him Dan for the purpose of this story has suddenly come out as being gay. No problems with if he is gay or not, it doesn't bother me either way in all honesty and it's grand he's comfortable with coming out with it. My issue is he's now acting incredibly effeminate, but only when around certain people all of whom are girls. He completely changes his personality in particular when he's around a girl who he has in the past told me he likes (and by likes he means wanted to get with.) I'll call her Katie.

Either Dan has been doing a very good job of pretending hes not gay and the sleeping round he'd done before was all been an elaborate front so that nobody would question his sexuality or he's acting gay to get close to Katie which is working if that's the case. Before she never gave him the time of day but over the last week she hasn't stopped telling me how sweet Dan is.

Rumour has it that the plan is to act gay, get close to her then suddenly develop feelings for her and have her turn him straight. That rumour did start from a very unreliable source though who is renowned for talking out his arse most of the time and I'd be surprised if Dan would have told him that anyway. It seems a weird thing to do anyway and surely trying something like that to get with a girl wouldn't work anyway?

I guess I'm asking for help on what to do. I want to be supportive of Dan after coming out but it does seem very odd hes acting so effeminate now. Maybe he was just hiding it but a sudden personality change seems off. Katie is quite a close friend of mine and I'd hate for her to get hurt or lied to but it doesn't really seem my place to bring up my suspicions especially as the person I'd heard it off has a history of making stuff up. I'd toyed with the idea of just asking Dan which would go down fine if the rumour is true but if it isn't and he really is gay then he probably wouldn't take it well and rightly so. Advice?

[LaurenTheNerd]

I think you should just continue to support him and be there for him in the event he is actually gay. It would be a rather big mistake if your source was wrong.

Either way, if the rumour turns out to be true then it'll get out or he's succeed in his plan. I think you should just let him get on with it and try and ignore the rumours until it becomes clear. After all, even if the rumour is true, if it drives Katie to like him, then she likes him. There's not much you can do about that and you don't want to be the one to stir shit up and tell her anything about such plan. I'd not interfere.

On the other hand, he may just be trying to establish a friendship with Katie and may really be gay so it's best to be supportive anyway, yeah? I'd let things unravel on their own and just be a spectator, just in case

[Sot]

Sounds like a cunning plan from Dan the man.
Does it really matter if he's planning anything?

[VelveteenWolf]

You could just ask him about it. It seems the best way to go. Don't come off as accusing, just tell him you're curious about the sudden shift in personality.

[platypus_92]

Thanks @LaurenTheNerd that's what my gut instinct was to go with as well. It's not really my business to get involved anyway and it would suit me down to the ground to just stay out of it.

@Sot brilliant rhyme. I don't know, probably not. I was just worried it would make things awkward IF he was only pretending to be gay just to get with a friend of mine on the grounds he couldn't pretend forever. I'm probably reading far too much into it.

@Cookie might be worth saying about the personality change, mention hes acting differently.

[Syrian]

Support him for now, and if it turns out he's playing, then slap him in the face! and slap that girl as well for being stupid enough to believe him!

[jordsta95]

Just support him in his decision, if he is genuinely gay then that is fine.
If he wants to go out with Katie, that is fine.

But, it's not the best way of trying to get with her. It could end up with him not going out with her, and he might get bullied a bit.

So support him whatever he does. He may need it.