[brillyx]

This is a long article, so if you can't take the time to read the whole thing, it's not gonna be worth it.

Back in middle school and elementary school, I was fairly unpopular. I hung out with kids other kids thought of as 'losers' and generally, my Friday night consisted of me staying at home on the computer playing Runescape.

Well fast forward to freshman year at a new highschool, catholic. Everything changes. Everyone there is actually nice and social and won't ask who you are if you randomly join a conversation, unlike the public school I went to. Kids at the new school that were nice would be regarded as queers back at my old school, everything was flip flopped. I ended up becoming more noticed by quite a few kids, no one really knowing who I was, more so just me being liked for a few small inside jokes I made with some other kids at the school that were more popular. One key point is my friend Evan, who is incredibly sociable and can make pretty much anyone like him and become friends in a few seconds worth of talking-a trait I dearly wish I had. Evan was almost my saving grace at my highschool, someone I could turn to if I needed help, although recalling back I never had too many. Maybe one or two about girls or whatever. Anyways, to cap it off, 9th grade ended with me having a small reputation, and me regretting not getting more involved.

After a great summer, back into school for tenth grade. Things are different though, in new classes, new groups of kids that I had seen but never talked to in 9th grade, and overall new problems. Unfortunately. Things have changed for me, reason why? I crave to be well liked, but have no idea how to accomplish this.

Like I said before, my friend Evan is incredible at making friends and having people like him. He could say anything and it will sound right, do anything and almost always end with it in his favour. Everything seems to go his way. Another friend of mine, Troy, is able to make people laugh with ease. He can easily make a joke and have it be laughed at. He is the clown that everyone wants to hang with. He has people post on his Facebook wall often, he is invited to things outside the school, he is in lots of pictures, whenever he walks into a room everybody wants to walk up and talk to him. He brings smiles to the faces of almost everyone at the school.

Now your probably thinking-these two must get along great! Naturally, they do. Maybe too much. They always sit by each other on the bus, always hang out together, have done things together on weekends and such, etc, etc.

Now to the point where I come in: It's not easy for me to say this, but I crave the power and status that these two have. I so dearly want people to be able to see me, yell my name in enthusiasm, and want to come and talk to me. I want my name to be the one that people associate with making any time not boring. I want to be able to easily create good relationships with almost anyone in the school, and keep them too. Basically, I want to live the life of being liked, not being the one that people can barely talk to, the one that is sometimes used as a joke at the lunch table, the one that is barely noticed unless I speak up.


I have tried acting like Troy and Evan, but as you probably guessed it has failed miserably.

Some things I think I have problems with are:

1. I have trouble being wild or outgoing, if someone initiates a joke with me, like speaking in a certain way or voice, I feel awkward saying it, which I know they can sense.

2. I often times have trouble finding things to have interesting and funny conversations about, whereas both Troy and Evan can easily start anything and have people laughing and giving out their undivided attention.

3. I often times get EXTREMELY jealous/envious when Troy or Evan talk to someone that I know they have recently met this year, and when I try it just falls flat. I think to myself, "Now why can't I do that?". I understand this is probably an issue, so I need advice on how to stop this.

4. Sometimes I think I relate to Troy or Evan too much, such as "What would Troy/Evan do?" or "How would Evan/Troy handle this?" or "What is something funny/witty that Evan or Troy would say?"

5. Whenever I see someone I don't talk to much, or someone who may have a more serious tone, or even a girl who I know has a high social status, I get scared and hesitate to say things, or I will think "Say something funny, say something clever" and ultimately it will not be either.

6. Sometimes I try saying a joke or something funny, and I just hold back, which in turn sounds unconfident and weak.

7. Often times I will just throw something weak out in hopes of making a conversation. Often times it is ended with a one word response, or a weak or unconfident feeling about myself.


It's not like I'm a complete loser, it's that I am very quiet and I think sometimes awkward. I have trouble making conversations, even with my good friends. I have an alright social status, not like I'm the runt of the school or anything, I just seriously crave to be able to solve this problem, and be one of the 'fun' kids. Can anyone please help?

[RysRyan]

Troy Evans is the name of a football player haha. Played for the Saints in the Super Bowl

Any way, @brillyx I feel ya, I'm awkward too. I just wish my school was like yours, where there are Mr. Perfects who will talk to even the weirdest. I also have jealousy issues, especially of those Mr. Perfects. I really want to be like them, having all the right moves. I guess some people have it and some don't. Do you like the media? Ya know, TV shows, celebrities, magazines and what not? I'm not really, and I'm a loner. I'm just thanking God I have ONE good friend. Maybe you could join in the conversations they have, with other folks you'd like to know better. Just follow in their footsteps. It may be a lil weak, but I'm pretty sure you can ask them for advice. Ever tried that? They like you, I'm sure they won't mind mentoring you. You're lucky to have superior friends like that. My friends are all losers, and have no lifes. The Mr.Perfects sometimes just pretend to be my friend either cuz it's funny seeing how I act, or because they feel sorry for me. I even had one try to teach me how to get more girls. It was so embarrassing. Good luck

[Shawn K.]

Dude in my opinion you have to start concentrating on the positive things about who you are that got you the level of social status. You seem to be spending a lot of time tearing yourself down for your perceived weaknesses, when at least some of that time might be better spent building on your strengths.

The Troy/Evan groupie thing is a bad look dude. And, it will not work. You have to be you. You can't try to be someone else, you've said you tried and didn't like the result.

There's a pecking order in your social environment, just like mine, and most other teenagers... We all can't be Troy/Evan, be yourself and spend your energy on finding out who you are and what you have to offer.

I sent you a PM.

[Shawn K.]

Originally Posted by RysRyan

Troy Evans is the name of a football player haha. Played for the Saints in the Super Bowl

Any way, @brillyx I feel ya, I'm awkward too. I just wish my school was like yours, where there are Mr. Perfects who will talk to even the weirdest. I also have jealousy issues, especially of those Mr. Perfects. I really want to be like them, having all the right moves. I guess some people have it and some don't. Do you like the media? Ya know, TV shows, celebrities, magazines and what not? I'm not really, and I'm a loner. I'm just thanking God I have ONE good friend. Maybe you could join in the conversations they have, with other folks you'd like to know better. Just follow in their footsteps. It may be a lil weak, but I'm pretty sure you can ask them for advice. Ever tried that? They like you, I'm sure they won't mind mentoring you. You're lucky to have superior friends like that. My friends are all losers, and have no lifes. The Mr.Perfects sometimes just pretend to be my friend either cuz it's funny seeing how I act, or because they feel sorry for me. I even had one try to teach me how to get more girls. It was so embarrassing. Good luck

I think this is a great thread. And I don't want to come of wrong. But in my world, I'm a Troy/Evan, and can relate to the insecurities you are talking about, trust me. But one thing I question in your post is this "superiority". I don't think anyone should be MADE to feel like they are inferior, and I think that it is just as wrong for people to VOLUNTARILY accept feeling inferior. Being a teenager is hard enough. Theres enough crap to knock you back a peg everyday without knocking yourself back. I'm just saying.

[Cougar88]

Dude ... people are dying in syria, in wars, of cancer, etc. Lighten up.

I hope that wasn't too harsh but sumtimes people need tough love. I know popularity wars at school can often seem like real wars at the time you are going thru it. But they aren't.

So again, lighten the fuck up. I honestly say that out of love. I have been the popular guy, the new guy, the shy guy, the guy not quite as funny or cute as his friends guy. But it doesnt matter. Those that wanna be friends with you will and those that don't won't. You can't be firends with everybody at school, idc if your school is 2500 people or 25 people. So just be yourself.

But I do have some helpfull advice I think. When you are feeling quiet and shy or out of place, just think about people in Syria and Lybia and around the world being slaughtered. Realize you have it good. And live it up. Say a joke. Worst thing is nobody laughs, if so, laugh at that. people (especially girls) LOVE people who are relaxed and can make fun of themselves a bit. When you are uptight, look at the hot girls in your school and say fuck it, I'm gonna talk to one of them. Life is way too short not to talk to strangers. Take risks. Have fun. Live it up.