[shelovesu]

hi, I'm new here. I'm 18 and I have made bad choices in my life. I'm 21 weeks along. And I really wanted to keep this baby. But I got evicted 3 weeks ago and ever since I moved into my parent's house again they've pushed abortion as the only choice for being addicted to drugs having no money and because my boyfriend is not white. They won't let me stay with them if I'm preggo. I need them rightnow badly.. I don't have a job. I am also still addicted to methamphetamines. My boyfriend is in jail at the moment but he stands by me keeping it. My parents scheduled an appointment tm for me to have an abortion. I understand neither me or my bf are ready for this baby. But we both want her very much. We already came up with what her name will be. Our futures have her included. And I know I'll love her even more when she's born. Plus I told so many that I wasexpecting a baby and I'm so far along. My parents got an appointment at this clinic that allows you to abort upto 24 weeks. I worry what I'd go through if I actually did this. Would she feel pain? Is termination the right thing to do if she's pretty much already here?How could I live with this? My parents say it's the right thing thati shouldn't bring a baby into the situattion I am in but isn't it too late? What could I tell mybf?

[shelovesu]

any advice plz?

[Perfect Accident]

i personally do not think that termination is right to do at this point. seeing as you are 21 weeks along. she will feel pain. the heart starts beating at i believe is 4weeks, as you know. i heard my babies heart beats at 10weeks (first appt). this should be YOU and your BF's choice, and you said that you both want the baby. not your parents choice. if you go through with it, you may have severe depression, regret, some people commit suicide because they feel as if they made the wrong choice. if you do it, i believe that they have a counselor that comes in after, to talk to you, depends on where you are going. as for telling your BF, that will be hard, he has a say in it also.

i hope this helped a little bit.

[shelovesu]

I don't want an abortion this far along I just don't know where I'll end up if I don't get an abortion. Like if they kick me out I have no idea how I'd provide while he's gone these 3 months.

[Antigone]

Get a job. Your BF gets a job. Charity.
To name things off the top of my head.

[Perfect Accident]

there is always open adoption. i know that no matter what way you choose to go, it will be hard. listen to what your heart tells you to do and not what people tell you to do.

[shelovesu]

what's that? Open?

I need to get clean first which takes rehab which is hard without insurance or money. Idk.
I know it makes it easier for then to kick me which makes my situation harder.

[Perfect Accident]

and open adoption is when you put the baby up for adoption. and you can still have contact with the family, get pictures of the baby, mainly still be a part of the babys life. there is also a closed adoption where you give the baby up for adoption and you will have no contact or anything.

in my opinion, i think an open adoption is the best choice. so you can get clean, etc.

i just started feeling my babies moving, and every time i feel it, i consider adoption less and less. but with your situation, it may be a good idea to talk to an agency. just talk about it.

[Perfect Accident]

**accidental double post**

[shelovesu]

my parents don't believe I'd really do that. And I'd end up parenting. I want my baby to be in our future. For us to raise her ideally but I guess I prefer adoption open adoption well it matters rather than abortion.