[mommyofkase]

Hello everyone. I need advice.
My name is Zoey. Im 16 years old. Last year I lost my baby boy, Kase, and ever since then I have been struggling. That nagging feeling that I need to be a mom is always there. I have a nursery, and I have all my needs. I have a carseat and stroller... and no baby for it. Its been more than a year since I lost my son, and I really want to try again. Its all I can think of. Kase was planned too. Ive always known I needed to be a mother by the time I at least graduated, and that isnt really working out for me so well.
I have the resources, the support, and the emotional and financial stability for this, I just need to make it happen. Please give me advice. I want to do it, but not sure exactly. I want a baby thats in my arms.... not in the ground.

[Perfect Accident]

i kind of know how you feel sweetie. :(
i lost one of my twin girls three days after she was born. it is hard looking at skyelynn everyday and thinking about what it would be like with brylee here too.

i got pregnant again about two weeks after giving birth. (i know it is different in my situation.) in a way it feels right that i am pregnant again. because i lost brylee. a couple friends have told me that it happened for a reason, that i am pregnant again for a reason.

seeing as it has been a year. and you have everything ready, and support, etc. i think that it would be ok for ttc but wait just a little longer. but also from reading this, you may want to wait a little longer. just for emotional reasons. wait for things to settle down a bit. also i am not saying getting pregnant as a teenager is a good thing.

i am not sure what else to say :( but i am here if you want to talk to someone about things.

[Individuality]

Kase

Hello zoey, first of all i'm so sorry for your loss, losing anyone is hurtful but your own child must be deverstating, i don't think getting pregnant whilst still grieving for Kase is the best idea, your new baby won't replace Kase, you'll still have that pain in your heart where Kase lies, having a new baby won't turn that pain into hapiness, i HIGHLY suggest waiting a few years and in time you can properly grieve for Kase.

Steps of grief:

1: Denial
Denying that this person has gone is not helping but what you have to remember is that the relationship/life has ended and you must accept that.
2: Guilt
Some people will feel it was there fault for a break up or death of another and they will go to extreme length in handling this weather it is emotionally or physically harm they feel they need to get through the pain.
3: Anger
A person will feel anger and frustration when some one has gone because all they think is why, but maybe there leaving was for the best in some cases and they might be in a better place than where they were.
4: Depression
Depression is a huge part of heartbreak and a person may experience depression and feel the need to self harm their selves but what you have to remember is self harm will not get that person back.
5: Upward Turn
When you realise there is nothing possible in your power to get a person back you will get up and realise you have your life to live and will do a "upward turn"
6: Working Through
You will start to realise the realistic solutions that are open to you and start to accept your loss.
7: Acceptance
You will learn to accept your loss and learn to move on in life and see that person as a person who made you stronger

If you need anything, be sure to send me a message

[Caer]

I can understand that it was hard losing your son, however you're still very young. There is no reason to rush it, especially seeing as in your age bracket, there is a high risk of miscarriages.

You may have what YOU think is financial and emotional stability, but even just your first post is fraught with contradicting statements. From a psychological perspective, it seems as though you think you can replace the feelings of grief over your son with another baby and everything will magically be all better simply because you have a baby in your arms. As well, no 16 year old is independently financially stable and it's wrong to place that burden on others simply because you're impatient. Wait until you're older and have a career and a long term relationship so that you can adequately provide for your baby both financially and emotionally. Do you not want your child to grow up with both a mother and father?
Do you not want your child to have every opportunity available to him/her?

[mommyofkase]

Yes, I know nothing can bring him back, and nothing will ever replace him. I have a job, and a bf who helps me tons. He is the dad of Kase, and HE wants to try again too. I just dont know if its the right time. Do you you think if I do it, the baby will resent me thinking its the replacement and its not really wanted, or if I ould hurt the baby by my body not being ready for this so soon(well, seems soon to me). Im very supersticious, and Im afraid that I will get pregnant with a boy and something will happen to him. I have no good luck with boys. My father, Brother, and son are all passed, so Im just worried about men in my family.
I kinda need support on this one more than people tearing me down.

[DeepDistress]

You're too young to try and have one, you're only 16.. what you went through is really horrible but no matter how much money, support, family, etc etc you have, it's really not enough. It takes sooo much just being there 24/7 for a child. it's not just the "things" it's the constant job, it sounds wonderful i know, being a mom, and most of the time you probably would love it but it's really not smart. Just date your boyfriend, give it time, it's only been a year and then when yous are 18 or so maybe you'll get married, then think of having a child.

[Kirk]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss Zoey; I can't even begin to imagine how it must feel to lose your own child.

Unfortunately I have to agree with the others that have replied to this thread; I think you're too young to be a mother, especially when considering what GoldenxBeauty pointed out. It would be of much benefit to you if you were to wait until your older before considering having another baby. Not only will you have the emotional/financial support you need, but hopefully you will be bringing up the baby within a strong relationship with a partner.