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Teen Pregnancy and Childcare ForumDiscuss teen pregnancy, childcare, teens trying to conceive, ovulation, fertility charting, giving birth and seek all related help and advice.
Well personally I think if the person wants a child and can take care of it and is mature enough to handle the responsibility then I can't argue with the fact they want one on purpose.
The problem with that is, however, how many 13 year olds do you know of that can:
* Pay their own school fees
* Buy and make their own food
* Buy their own clothing
* Pay their own medical fees
* Buy and make a baby's food
* Buy a baby's clothing
* Pay a child's medical fees
* Pay a child's school fees
* Buy children's toys
* Pay childcare fees
Not to mention if the baby is born 'babies' or is severly disabled.
Which adds double or, at least, triple the amount onto the original figure.
You are right that it's unlikely they'll actually be paying for any of these, but it's missing the big picture. Most teenagers don't think about the consequences of these things. They'll usually have alterior motives (or none at all). That's to their detriment, of course, because children can be overwhelming if you aren't prepared.
Pregnant teenagers automatically assume their parents will support them. That's their first mistake.
A parent of a pregnant teen is fully within their rights to say no, I won't support you.
I know if my children got pregnant as teenagers, and they instantly expected me to help them, I wouldn't. If they asked me to help them help themselves, I would.
By that I mean if they asked me to help them get their own house, get a job, book into the hospital, etc, without any financial assistance from me, I'd help them.
If they came home at 14 and said "Good news! I'm pregnant and keeping it!" and expected me to pay up, I'd give them the choice of adoption, termination or get the hell out of my house.
I will not be forced to pay for a child that is not born to me.
The first thing I say to the teens that come to me in the program is: "I want you to pretend your entire family is dead"
I encourage them to think as though there is nobody there to help them.
I help them think in the way of working to support themselves and their child.
I have a 16 year old who planned her baby, then her parents got a court order to be 'divorced' from their responsibilities to her. She had to move out of her parent's house within two weeks.
She was homeless, jobless, boyfriend-less, family-less and was pregnant.
She didn't have enough money to buy a day's groceries.
She eventually had a termination at 8 weeks because she gave up. She didn't realise how much her parents spent on her every week just to keep her in school, fed, clothed and clean.
I have a question, something that has been alluded to before. Forgive my ignorance, but isn't school free? I know that here in England it is unless you go to private school, but that's relatively unusual.
I think that expecting a child of that age to support themselves when they have no idea how to is a bit much; but I also think that it's rather, and I don't mean to offend anyone, I think it's rather idiotic to have a child at that age, given the amount of work it involves. I suppose it depends on how mature they are- some girls already know plenty about how to get a job and support their family because they share that responsibility as soon as they are able. Some just don't have a choice. So for them it might be easier for them to go off and have a kid, because they'll be used to it. But someone who's got no work experience, and no idea of how things are done in the "real world" should realise just what having a kid involves.
Having said all that, if a kid of mine was dead-set on having a child of their own, I think it would be too cruel to just disown them. I'm not sure what alternative there would be... I really can't see any reason why a teenager would put their parents through the torment of making that sort of a decision. Perhaps it's just because I'm a guy that I don't understand that mentality, but I think that forcing your parents to help with a kid is second in cruelty only to the parents saying no.
I know i'm gunna sound really stupid when i say this but when i was with my ex we were trying for a baby and im only 15 and he was 15 as well at the time but in the year above me in school.
To be honest i never wanted a baby he was forcing me to and i think this might be the case for most teenage girls getting pregnant or trying to.
Its so hard to say no to someone you think you love, especially when they are violet towards you.
I am in no way trying to say its right but just that sometimes its not all the girls fault.
i feel some teens get pregnant because they want a flat a place to live, cheap way of living out of other peoples pocket, that's what they do live out of other people's pockets, it's shame on society that lets them get away with it.
now a days some teens don't even have a dress sense, my brother always says to me, watch this country go down even further and the way it is in debt god help those who are in jobs because that's all they would work for... for people who won't work and teen moms who have no future but go to the post office and take money from those hard working people.
I know if my children got pregnant as teenagers, and they instantly expected me to help them, I wouldn't. If they asked me to help them help themselves, I would.
By that I mean if they asked me to help them get their own house, get a job, book into the hospital, etc, without any financial assistance from me, I'd help them.
If they came home at 14 and said "Good news! I'm pregnant and keeping it!" and expected me to pay up, I'd give them the choice of adoption, termination or get the hell out of my house.
I will not be forced to pay for a child that is not born to me.
Bit harsh don't you think.
If my child fell pregnant sure I would be upset, but at the end of the day, its my child. You should never stop caring for your child. No matter how old they get. Obviously at an older age you don't look after a child in such the same way. Yet you still emotionally support them, even if you don't financially. But how is saying "Get the hell out of my house" going to help the situation at all. It just means your child is now homeless, and your grandchild will grow up with a shit life. It's unfair.
The best thing you can do in my opinion is support your child no matter what they want to do. Never hold them back. But never abandon your child. No matter what happens, always give them a bed, a home and love to come back to. Or you become as bad as your child. You can complain all you like about your pregnant teen having no financial support for the child. But if you refuse him/her a home and financial support, you are fairly hypocritical as you are not fulfilling your obligations as a parent either.
i completely agree with leo. teens trying to concieve are so selfish, they're only thinking about their personal wants. their reasons of doing so are usually very stupid, too.
and i really hate it when people say: it'll be easy, i take care of my sister/brother/cousin etc. all the time.
it is NOT the same when it your own child. now you'll be the one to provide for it with everything it needs. they don't realize how big of a responsibility it is. this is no game.
Today's Toppers
Re: Teens trying to conceive
