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Teen Pregnancy and Childcare Discuss teen pregnancy, childcare, conceiving, ovulation, fertility charting, and similar topics within this forum.

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Old 08-02-10, 07:33 AM   #1
 
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Default Desperate to have a baby!

I'm on the Depo-Provera injection which last 3 months at a time. I'm due another shot next month in March..

Recently, i had a miscarriage and it was the most horrible thing i ever had to experience.

I'm only 16 and i've been with my boyfriend for about 6 years. He's deffinately not ready to be a Dad, and i'm obviously not ready to be a Mum. Although, there's just something in my mind telling me i really want one, putting me to extreme lengths of thinking not to go for my injection next month, but pretend i have to my boyfriend. But that's completely bang out of order, and i just couldn't do that, it would ruin, him and our relationship.

But still? What can i do to stop thinking this?

I just want to go through the whole thing, and give birth, as it would just be the most amazing but painful experience of my life!

I'm not financially stable, and just completely aren't ready to take this on..

But it just won't dissapear out of my head, and it's winds me up sometimes when my boyfriend says he can't to wait to have children with me when we're older, i just feel like scareming and saying i want one now..
I know it's not as easy as that, and i wouldn't..

But it annoys me thinking about it and i don't know what to do to stop thinking about it?

Any help would be very appreciated..
Thanks,
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Old 08-02-10, 07:40 AM   #2
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Default Re: Desperate to have a baby!

It's natural to sometimes feel like this. Keep reminding yourself that you're not ready for children yet and that you're not financially stable enough to start a family. Maybe you can talk to your boyfriend and ask him not to talk about having children in the future because it makes you feel you like this and it get you down that you can't have one now. Just keep telling yourself that now isn't the time and you want to wait so that you can give your baby the best life possible when you're ready to be parents and you are more stable.

Also, make sure you go for your injection or if you don't, tell your boyfriend. Don't lie to him about being on contraception when you're not. When he finds out, your relationship will be ruined.








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Old 08-02-10, 07:52 AM   #3
 
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Default Re: Desperate to have a baby!

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Originally Posted by Rogan View Post
It's natural to sometimes feel like this. Keep reminding yourself that you're not ready for children yet and that you're not financially stable enough to start a family. Maybe you can talk to your boyfriend and ask him not to talk about having children in the future because it makes you feel you like this and it get you down that you can't have one now. Just keep telling yourself that now isn't the time and you want to wait so that you can give your baby the best life possible when you're ready to be parents and you are more stable.

Also, make sure you go for your injection or if you don't, tell your boyfriend. Don't lie to him about being on contraception when you're not. When he finds out, your relationship will be ruined.
Natural is it really? I thought i was the only one!
I know yeah, that's what i keep doing..
Just hard i guess.. It's weird though, i like him saying it because it's telling me he basically wants to spend of his life with me by saying that and i like it.. But it's has it's diasvantages because then i start thinking about having a baby....

I know, i'd deffinately tell him. But it's on my mind that i don't wanna tell him because of that.. But i guess it's tough shit on me.. :/

It's weird though, because it's not like a phase.. It just feels like something i'm ready for and i've wanted one for ages - years.. Obviously i'm not ready, but just feel like i am.

Hmm weird :/

Thanks anyway, that's like a really really sensible answer ;D

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Old 08-02-10, 08:09 AM   #4
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Default Re: Desperate to have a baby!

Do you spend a lot of time around little kids? I know when I'm with my little cousins, I wish I had a baby too. If you do, this could be the cause of it. Also, I think the fact that you recently miscarried makes you feel as though you want to try again to have a baby; like you miss the baby you ha and still want it. I don't know.

I think it's good that you can see that you're not in a position to have a baby yet. A lot of people decide they want to have a baby without properly thinking until it's too late. By waiting until you're certain you're ready, you'll be a better mother and you'll be able to cope with it a lot better.

I know it's not the same, but would getting a pet take your mind off it? A little kitten or something. You'll be able to love it and raise it like you would with a baby but without the huge pressure. Just an idea.








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Old 08-02-10, 08:13 AM   #5
 
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Default Re: Desperate to have a baby!

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Do you spend a lot of time around little kids? I know when I'm with my little cousins, I wish I had a baby too. If you do, this could be the cause of it. Also, I think the fact that you recently miscarried makes you feel as though you want to try again to have a baby; like you miss the baby you ha and still want it. I don't know.

I think it's good that you can see that you're not in a position to have a baby yet. A lot of people decide they want to have a baby without properly thinking until it's too late. By waiting until you're certain you're ready, you'll be a better mother and you'll be able to cope with it a lot better.

I know it's not the same, but would getting a pet take your mind off it? A little kitten or something. You'll be able to love it and raise it like you would with a baby but without the huge pressure. Just an idea.
Well i love seeing my boyfriends nephew he's gorgeous.. He's only 18 months.. To be honest, i've just always loved babies in general .. I think me being an only child hasn't helped much to be honest, because i haven't experienced seeing it so that's why i want to do it myself..

Yeah i do miss it, it was hardly anything.. I lost it very early in the pregnancy, but that doesn't mean any different to me to be honest.. It was still there.. You know what i mean?

Yeah that's a good idea, but i already have 2 cats haa.. And aren't allowed any more pets! :( ..

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Old 08-02-10, 08:28 AM   #6
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Default Re: Desperate to have a baby!

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Well i love seeing my boyfriends nephew he's gorgeous.. He's only 18 months.. To be honest, i've just always loved babies in general .. I think me being an only child hasn't helped much to be honest, because i haven't experienced seeing it so that's why i want to do it myself..
Being an only child could be the main reason behind it. If you say you've wanted a baby for a long time then that might be because you didn't have little brothers and sisters when you were younger and when you saw your friends with them, you wanted to have one yourself because your parents wouldn't. Maybe. I duno.

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Yeah i do miss it, it was hardly anything.. I lost it very early in the pregnancy, but that doesn't mean any different to me to be honest.. It was still there.. You know what i mean?
I know what you mean. It's your baby from the minute it's conceived even though it's still too small to see and hasn't got finger and toes yet. It's still alive and losing it early is just as bad as losing it later.








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Old 08-02-10, 08:39 AM   #7
 
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Default Re: Desperate to have a baby!

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Being an only child could be the main reason behind it. If you say you've wanted a baby for a long time then that might be because you didn't have little brothers and sisters when you were younger and when you saw your friends with them, you wanted to have one yourself because your parents wouldn't. Maybe. I duno.


I know what you mean. It's your baby from the minute it's conceived even though it's still too small to see and hasn't got finger and toes yet. It's still alive and losing it early is just as bad as losing it later.
Yeahh i think that could be mainly the reason.. Never really thought about that..

I'm glad you understand!! Wow, it's hard to find someone that understands me

Thanks
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Old 08-02-10, 08:43 AM   #8
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Default Re: Desperate to have a baby!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chlowee View Post
Yeahh i think that could be mainly the reason.. Never really thought about that..

I'm glad you understand!! Wow, it's hard to find someone that understands me

Thanks
Glad to be able to help Feel free to ask if ever you need anything.








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Old 08-02-10, 11:14 AM   #9
 
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Default Re: Desperate to have a baby!

Like joshie said, it's pretty natural to feel that way. I get it all the time, like I see my step-mum pregnant and I wish it was me, and I'm only 15. I wish I had a baby, or I think it's more I wish I just was pregnant, cos it's an amazing development but I can't and don't want to because it will just ruin my life.

I suggest you get the injection and just wait a few more years. I know someone who had her first baby, fresh out of school, she doesn't regret it for a minute. So maybe you could consider that if you still feel that way.

Hope this helped a tad. xox








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Old 09-02-10, 07:23 PM   #10
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Default Re: Desperate to have a baby!

I'm pregnant now and I'm 16. Lucky me, I'm expecting twins. I don't regret anything but I do wish I would've waited to have sex or been a little bit more careful. Before I got pregnant, I wanted babies, too LOL! Now, I'll have two of my own.










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