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Old 19-07-10, 01:24 PM   #1
 
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Default should I have an abortion because my boyfriend wants me to?

I love jake he's everything to me. When he's not around I feel almost a little depressed well actually very depressed. I have spent over half my life with him even though I'm only 16. I honestly don't remember my life without him. And I don't think I'd do well if he broke up with me because I wanted to have his son. Like I told him today I was 4 months pregnant. His response was I had to get an abortion. No other option would he even let me talk about or consider. He wouldn't dare support us having a kid together. I want to have his son but I don't want to do it alone. And I don't want an abortion I'm like too far along. I know my parents won't be supportive either. I wish I would've just told him sooner then I wouldn't feel so attached. But what are you guy's thoughts and opinions just want to know from an outside source?
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Old 19-07-10, 04:18 PM   #2
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Default Re: should I have an abortion because my boyfriend wants me to?

To be honest, he sounds like a bastard, ordering you around like that.
Personally speaking, I'd rather keep the innocent son of a bastard around than someone who is forcing me to kill my own child.

Why not consider adoption? Sounds like he's the type of guy who's ready to cut and run at the first sign of trouble.

You can abort it, have it, or put it up for adoption. He can't decide for you. If you choose to have the child and raise it, then you'll have to step up and be an adult.

Also if he doesn't support you decision, if you decided to keep it, then he isn't the kinda guy you wanna be with. He's the worst kind. The kind who commits on his terms only. If he loves you, then he'd stay with you no matter what.

But that's just my opinion.









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Old 19-07-10, 07:07 PM   #3
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Default Re: should I have an abortion because my boyfriend wants me to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marietta View Post
To be honest, he sounds like a bastard, ordering you around like that.
Personally speaking, I'd rather keep the innocent son of a bastard around than someone who is forcing me to kill my own child.

Why not consider adoption? Sounds like he's the type of guy who's ready to cut and run at the first sign of trouble.

You can abort it, have it, or put it up for adoption. He can't decide for you. If you choose to have the child and raise it, then you'll have to step up and be an adult.

Also if he doesn't support you decision, if you decided to keep it, then he isn't the kinda guy you wanna be with. He's the worst kind. The kind who commits on his terms only. If he loves you, then he'd stay with you no matter what.

But that's just my opinion.
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Old 19-07-10, 07:38 PM   #4
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Default Re: should I have an abortion because my boyfriend wants me to?

This is just my opinion, but keep in mind it's coming from someone who's been pregnant in a bad situation.


I'm going to have to say that abortion really would have been your best choice.
You can still get one up to 20 weeks along and in some places, up to 24 weeks.
I say this because you're only 16. You still have your whole life ahead of you to have kids with someone who wants to have them with you.
You said yourself, your boyfriend would leave you if you kept it and your family wouldn't approve so why would you want to bring a child into the world in an environment where it would be so unwanted?

You can put it up for adoption but I know highschools here don't let pregnant girls attend classes so if it's the same thing there, you would likely have to graduate late, there would be gossip etc.

And obviously keeping it is your worst choice at your age.
I don't think I need to tell you how much it would fuck up your life.
You'd lose your relationship and no guys your age want to date a teen mother.
your parents would look down on you for making the choice and may even decide not to help you out financially etc.
Basically, no more freedom.

It's really up to you, but I stick by what I said.
Abortion would be the best option, not because it's what your shithead boyfriend wants but because it would be best for YOU.

Also, do yourself another favor and lose the guy.
He's not doing you any favors.
 
Old 20-07-10, 01:20 AM   #5
 
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Default Re: should I have an abortion because my boyfriend wants me to?

First off - can I ask why you didn't tell him sooner that you're pregnant?
And had you been using adequate contraception? It's imperative that you always use contraception as there is no other preventative for pregnancy, and it's a good idea to 'double up' and take the pill as well as use a condom.

Although your body is entirely your prerogative, that fetus is genetically 50% his; so I feel it's important that he also has his say in its fate considered. It sounds like he's been quite clear that he doesn't want to have the child, and you need to think about - or ask him - why that is. Are you in a financially stable position that will enable you to care for a child? Will you be sufficiently supported? Knowing that your parents won't approve of the pregnancy, I doubt you'll be privy to your mother's firsthand experience and knowledge which could be of great benefit, ergo would you be willing to attend natal classes? Are you prepared to put your education on hold, long-term, and commit to continually assisting, encouraging, comforting and sustaining the child, without your boyfriend's presence and alongside your parent's disdain?

It doesn't sound like you're in an ideal position to have this child, given your age, the general lack of familial support, and the fundamental disagreement you have with your partner. I'm echoing Shonna's post with your best interest at heart, although it may be an upsetting and disappointing prospect: whilst it is essentially up to you, abortion would be the most practical and overall fair option.




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Old 20-07-10, 01:10 PM   #6
 
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Default Re: should I have an abortion because my boyfriend wants me to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerosene View Post
This is just my opinion, but keep in mind it's coming from someone who's been pregnant in a bad situation.


I'm going to have to say that abortion really would have been your best choice.
You can still get one up to 20 weeks along and in some places, up to 24 weeks.
I say this because you're only 16. You still have your whole life ahead of you to have kids with someone who wants to have them with you.
You said yourself, your boyfriend would leave you if you kept it and your family wouldn't approve so why would you want to bring a child into the world in an environment where it would be so unwanted?

You can put it up for adoption but I know highschools here don't let pregnant girls attend classes so if it's the same thing there, you would likely have to graduate late, there would be gossip etc.

And obviously keeping it is your worst choice at your age.
I don't think I need to tell you how much it would fuck up your life.
You'd lose your relationship and no guys your age want to date a teen mother.
your parents would look down on you for making the choice and may even decide not to help you out financially etc.
Basically, no more freedom.

It's really up to you, but I stick by what I said.
Abortion would be the best option, not because it's what your shithead boyfriend wants but because it would be best for YOU.

Also, do yourself another favor and lose the guy.
He's not doing you any favors.
wellmy boyfriend only said it that way because I promised I would never have a kid with him. He doesn't want any. I knew that. It's just when I feel now that I really want to have this kid and I knew if I do it I'll never get the chance to have any. So I guess it was my fault we should've just gotten it done and over with.
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Old 20-07-10, 01:25 PM   #7
 
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Default Re: should I have an abortion because my boyfriend wants me to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerosene View Post
This is just my opinion, but keep in mind it's coming from someone who's been pregnant in a bad situation.


I'm going to have to say that abortion really would have been your best choice.
You can still get one up to 20 weeks along and in some places, up to 24 weeks.
I say this because you're only 16. You still have your whole life ahead of you to have kids with someone who wants to have them with you.
You said yourself, your boyfriend would leave you if you kept it and your family wouldn't approve so why would you want to bring a child into the world in an environment where it would be so unwanted?

You can put it up for adoption but I know highschools here don't let pregnant girls attend classes so if it's the same thing there, you would likely have to graduate late, there would be gossip etc.

And obviously keeping it is your worst choice at your age.
I don't think I need to tell you how much it would fuck up your life.
You'd lose your relationship and no guys your age want to date a teen mother.
your parents would look down on you for making the choice and may even decide not to help you out financially etc.
Basically, no more freedom.

It's really up to you, but I stick by what I said.
Abortion would be the best option, not because it's what your shithead boyfriend wants but because it would be best for YOU.

Also, do yourself another favor and lose the guy.
He's not doing you any favors.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bambi vision View Post
First off - can I ask why you didn't tell him sooner that you're pregnant?
And had you been using adequate contraception? It's imperative that you always use contraception as there is no other preventative for pregnancy, and it's a good idea to 'double up' and take the pill as well as use a condom.

Although your body is entirely your prerogative, that fetus is genetically 50% his; so I feel it's important that he also has his say in its fate considered. It sounds like he's been quite clear that he doesn't want to have the child, and you need to think about - or ask him - why that is. Are you in a financially stable position that will enable you to care for a child? Will you be sufficiently supported? Knowing that your parents won't approve of the pregnancy, I doubt you'll be privy to your mother's firsthand experience and knowledge which could be of great benefit, ergo would you be willing to attend natal classes? Are you prepared to put your education on hold, long-term, and commit to continually assisting, encouraging, comforting and sustaining the child, without your boyfriend's presence and alongside your parent's disdain?

It doesn't sound like you're in an ideal position to have this child, given your age, the general lack of familial support, and the fundamental disagreement you have with your partner. I'm echoing Shonna's post with your best interest at heart, although it may be an upsetting and disappointing prospect: whilst it is essentially up to you, abortion would be the most practical and overall fair option.
I know why already he doesn't want kid because he doesn't want to 'ruin' someone's life and he had a hard childhood I guess that is how it gets affected.


And yea I used protection was on the birth control pill.
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Old 21-07-10, 09:47 PM   #8
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Default Re: should I have an abortion because my boyfriend wants me to?

I have heard these stories many times and I know this can be really stressful.
But my advice is for you NOT TO HAVE AN ABORTION. In many occasions the babies father is really just scared himself and wants this big responsibility to go away, I don't know exactly if that's the case with him, but there are options, like ADOPTION.

Technically you would be killing your baby. Why do that? There are many Loving Families out there that would love to give your child a beautiful home and everything he or she needs.
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Old 22-07-10, 03:33 AM   #9
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Default Re: should I have an abortion because my boyfriend wants me to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by weloveyou View Post
I have heard these stories many times and I know this can be really stressful.
But my advice is for you NOT TO HAVE AN ABORTION. In many occasions the babies father is really just scared himself and wants this big responsibility to go away, I don't know exactly if that's the case with him, but there are options, like ADOPTION.

Technically you would be killing your baby. Why do that? There are many Loving Families out there that would love to give your child a beautiful home and everything he or she needs.
This makes me want to facepalm.

It is not a baby.
It is barely considered a fetus.
Why make the decision that is best for her though right?
It's not like it's her body, it's not like it's her life. No big deal having to finish school late or deal with all the gossip and having her family,friends and boyfriend look down on her for having it.

I'm going to make a well educated guess that you have never been pregnant, let alone pregnant in a bad situation.
The majority of people who oppose abortion haven't or they wouldn't be preaching that abortion is never an option.
 
Old 22-07-10, 12:35 PM   #10
 
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Default Re: should I have an abortion because my boyfriend wants me to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by weloveyou View Post
I have heard these stories many times and I know this can be really stressful.
But my advice is for you NOT TO HAVE AN ABORTION. In many occasions the babies father is really just scared himself and wants this big responsibility to go away, I don't know exactly if that's the case with him, but there are options, like ADOPTION.

Technically you would be killing your baby. Why do that? There are many Loving Families out there that would love to give your child a beautiful home and everything he or she needs.
I want to stick with parenting I think now.
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