User Image
Posts: 75, Threads: 6
Last Activity: 21-04-14 02:48 AM

Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support


If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.



Teen Pregnancy and Childcare Discuss teen pregnancy, childcare, conceiving, ovulation, fertility charting, and similar topics within this forum.

Closed Thread
Old 06-07-11, 09:13 PM   #1
 
_Sparks_'s Avatar
My Mood:  Cloud_9
 
Name: Rach
Gender: Female
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 24
_Sparks_ is on a distinguished road
Default Feeling Lost.

I'm new here and haven't really posted much.

I'm 19 weeks pregnant to a guy I had a one night stand with. My family, friends and the guy know about the pregnancy, it was tough to take in at first but everything is fine now.

I'm not with the father, it was a one night stand in February, and he's seeing someone else now, they are still together even though I'm pregnant, and I'm totally fine with that.

Lately I've been feeling down about the fact that I'm going to be a single mother, even though I have all the support I need.
Having a baby, should be with someone you love and are with. I guess I'm just feeling lonely, nobody to share this experience with.
I was in a relationship that ended last Sept, and I just miss having someone to love and care for.

Will I always be a single mother, with no partner? Will I always feel this alone?




_______________________________



Life Is Not About Waiting For The Rain To Stop...But Learning How To Dance In The Rain
_Sparks_ is offline  
Advertisement
Old 06-07-11, 09:17 PM   #2
Angel of Hollow Aches
 
DeepDistress's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 12,864
DeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Feeling Lost.

You won't always be alone, of course not.
And once you have that baby to hold in your arms, and have that 100% love and devotion to you no matter what.. that'll be a love no man could ever fill.








You may have noticed, I'm not all there myself. -Cheshire Cat
Set my spirit free.
DeepDistress is offline  
Old 06-07-11, 09:29 PM   #3
 
_Sparks_'s Avatar
My Mood:  Cloud_9
 
Name: Rach
Gender: Female
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 24
_Sparks_ is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Feeling Lost.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepDistress View Post
You won't always be alone, of course not.
And once you have that baby to hold in your arms, and have that 100% love and devotion to you no matter what.. that'll be a love no man could ever fill.
That's what my friends and family have been saying.

They tell me that I will feel an amazing feeling of un-conditional love for my baby, of course, which I will.

But what about somebody to love me? A partner who I can love and turn to.

I have absolutely no doubts that I will love my baby more than anything else in the world, but I want to be in love too.

And they say it's harder for single mother's to find partners.

One of my friends actually asked me am I jealous that the father still has a relationship, even though he's having a baby with me. My answer, No.

I'm just feel down and depressed about the fact that, I'm having a baby on my own, and nobody to share it with.




_______________________________



Life Is Not About Waiting For The Rain To Stop...But Learning How To Dance In The Rain
_Sparks_ is offline  
Old 06-07-11, 09:30 PM   #4
Angel of Hollow Aches
 
DeepDistress's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 12,864
DeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Feeling Lost.

Yeah but you're not thinking about the love you will get FROM your baby.








You may have noticed, I'm not all there myself. -Cheshire Cat
Set my spirit free.
DeepDistress is offline  
Old 06-07-11, 09:42 PM   #5
 
_Sparks_'s Avatar
My Mood:  Cloud_9
 
Name: Rach
Gender: Female
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 24
_Sparks_ is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Feeling Lost.

No I am, I'm already very excited about having my baby, and I can't imagine how much I will love him/her, and the love I will get back.

I'm just afraid of being lonely. Yes, I'll have my family, friends, and the father around.

I'm not saying I'd jump right in to a relationship now, obviously it's far from the right time.
The baby will always come first in everything I do.

The love, a partner and relationship, will I ever have that again?




_______________________________



Life Is Not About Waiting For The Rain To Stop...But Learning How To Dance In The Rain
_Sparks_ is offline  
Old 06-07-11, 09:44 PM   #6
Angel of Hollow Aches
 
DeepDistress's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 12,864
DeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Feeling Lost.

Yeah you will. you just have to wait, it's probably best you're not in one atm. You need to learn to be independent and have a bond of your own with your baby so it's just you two strong together. If youw ere with a guy it'd create a family type thing, and then if it doesn't work out.. it'd be really hard after. especailly on the child.








You may have noticed, I'm not all there myself. -Cheshire Cat
Set my spirit free.
DeepDistress is offline  
Old 06-07-11, 09:57 PM   #7
 
_Sparks_'s Avatar
My Mood:  Cloud_9
 
Name: Rach
Gender: Female
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 24
_Sparks_ is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Feeling Lost.

I definaltey don't want a relationship at this time in my life now. My baby is my number 1 priority right now.

I'm confused at the minute, and I'm not really sure how to put down how I feel.

But as you said there, it would create a family type thing. And if it didn't work, yes it would be hard.
Is that how my life will be now, in the future?

I can spend the first few years bringing up my baby, learning him/her to crawl, walk, talk. Go to school and so on. But at some point in the future, I will want to be in love with someone again, and have somebody to love me.

I'm just scared of becoming a single mother all my life, and never having someone to be with.

(I know, I'm going on and on here to, but my hormones are all over the place)(sorry)




_______________________________



Life Is Not About Waiting For The Rain To Stop...But Learning How To Dance In The Rain
_Sparks_ is offline  
Old 06-07-11, 10:01 PM   #8
Angel of Hollow Aches
 
DeepDistress's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 12,864
DeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond reputeDeepDistress has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Feeling Lost.

It'll be easier because your child will be older and you can see people without the child knowing.








You may have noticed, I'm not all there myself. -Cheshire Cat
Set my spirit free.
DeepDistress is offline  
Old 07-07-11, 02:37 AM   #9
Account Closed Upon Request
My Mood:  Confident
 
Name: Sam
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Join Date: May 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 4,083
Sam1 has a reputation beyond reputeSam1 has a reputation beyond reputeSam1 has a reputation beyond reputeSam1 has a reputation beyond reputeSam1 has a reputation beyond reputeSam1 has a reputation beyond reputeSam1 has a reputation beyond reputeSam1 has a reputation beyond reputeSam1 has a reputation beyond reputeSam1 has a reputation beyond reputeSam1 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Feeling Lost.

Wait.

There's a lot of sugar coating here, which might feel good, but isn't necessarily indicative of what you can expect.

Here's what we do know.

You will be a mom forever, it's lifetime employment, for better or for worse. It's going to be a lot harder doing this alone, without benefits from the father, you know that. It's good you've got support from family and friends, but at the end of the day, you're the mom, so the bulk of the responsibility (read: Commitment and sacrifice) will be yours. You should not expect a bolt of lightning representing the love from the child to strike you and give you the energy and motivation you need to continue. It goes the other way, actually. I hear until the child is at least 40. 50 if it's a girl. I'm joking, of course, but only with that last bit there.


No one knows what the future holds, but the best predictor of that is past performance, what you've done with your life in the past and what the result was. And, from your own admission (and a glance at your prior posts) your judgment hasn't been as keen as it needs to be. You'd do well to address that, the emotional part that seems to overwhelm reason. Patterns, once established, have a way of repeating themselves. You can prevent another pregnancy, but you might act out impulsively in other ways, bad judgment has a way of morphing that way.

You may or may not be alone forever, no one can predict that. Having a child, and being a single mom, esp at a young age (19) does limit the prospects, most guys your age aren't necessarily going to want the responsibility and lifestyle change that instant family require. And older guys might not want that, either. Maybe b/c they've been there, maybe b/c they've decided not to go there. So, you;ll have some additional work (and disappointments, too).

The good news is that relationships are much more about compatibility on deeper levels (like judgment!) then any 'life circumstance' like a child. The baby is a complication, you'll need someone who has similar values and ideals as you, but you'll also do well to address those other features that might keep those kinds of guys away!

By addressing that with more than words, you're better able to control your destiny. Otherwise, you might be the author of your own tragedy here, and no empty statements of support will get you where you want to go.
Sam1 is offline  
Old 07-07-11, 03:40 PM   #10
 
_Sparks_'s Avatar
My Mood:  Cloud_9
 
Name: Rach
Gender: Female
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 24
_Sparks_ is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Feeling Lost.

Your post made me see a lot of what I couldn't. I'm confused lately and been through a tough time, and my hormones aren't my best friend.

I've gotta stop worrying about being lonely, because I will always have my baby.

Who cares if I never meet anyone again, I can always stay hopeful that maybe one day, I will? But for now, my baby is my number one priority




_______________________________



Life Is Not About Waiting For The Rain To Stop...But Learning How To Dance In The Rain
_Sparks_ is offline  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:25 AM. Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.








     Friends: Friends Circle
TeenForumz will never have pop-up or annoying ads. Thanks for NOT supporting us!