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Old 05-10-11, 07:02 PM   #1
 
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Default Deaf/Speech Disability Adoption...selfish..?

Okay, so, please be sensitive with me on this subject because It's something I'm really close to, one of my life passions, something that my heart aches for...

Okay, So Ive always had this spot in my heart for deaf/speech disabilities.. I don't know why, I just know I do. It's something I know I should do? I think I have a good personality for adopting a son with a Speech Disability.. I have good patience, I can understand people well even if I don't relate well to them, I think I'd be good for supporting and helping the child through the rough years of not being like others, I think id be good at helping the child understand why he has the disability, or why people make fun of them, etc. I don't know it's so hard to explain.. It's just something I know I should do or meant to do, i have no idea how I know I just know I do.. But then I was watching Switched at birth.. and in one of the episodes something just hit me about it being selfish, how I wouldn't be able to fully know what it's like, or for the child to be in a family who can hear even though we'd all learn sign language.. I know it's not the same, but I also can't fight the feeling like I'm supposed to? I know sign language is an incredibly hard thing to learn and get good at, and that it takes years to learn to converse well, but I fully plan on learning soon, and getting better and better at it for the years till I have children. id never marry a man who wasn't willing to learn either, and understand and would be a good father to a child who has those needs.

So I guess my question is what do others think? would it be selfish of me...?








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Old 05-10-11, 07:07 PM   #2
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Default Re: Deaf/Speech Disability Adoption...selfish..?

Doing things that you want doesn't make you selfish. Doing ONLY things that you want makes you selfish.

You're fine, dont worry.










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Old 05-10-11, 07:10 PM   #3
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Default Re: Deaf/Speech Disability Adoption...selfish..?

No, its not selfish. If anything, its really great that you'd want to do that. However, it takes a lot of time for you to work with the child, and a lot of money for therapy and such. I would wait til you are married, or at least an extremely stable relationship, and a decent enough income to support a special needs child.








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Old 05-10-11, 07:10 PM   #4
 
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Default Re: Deaf/Speech Disability Adoption...selfish..?

@Pokemon_master, I know but it's like.. Is it really fair to bring a child into a family who can hear..? I know I could make the child feel loved, feel as important as any of my other children just.. idk.. it got me thinking.. but it's something I want to do so badly.. something I know i should do..








When all the trees have been cut down,
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when all the waters are polluted,
when all the air is unsafe to breathe,
only then will you discover you cannot eat money.
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Old 05-10-11, 07:10 PM   #5
 
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Default Re: Deaf/Speech Disability Adoption...selfish..?

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Originally Posted by Vertigo View Post
No, its not selfish. If anything, its really great that you'd want to do that. However, it takes a lot of time for you to work with the child, and a lot of money for therapy and such. I would wait til you are married, or at least an extremely stable relationship, and a decent enough income to support a special needs child.
Thank you. and Of course, this isn't soon or anything it's just something really important to me so it's always on my mind.








When all the trees have been cut down,
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when all the waters are polluted,
when all the air is unsafe to breathe,
only then will you discover you cannot eat money.
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Old 05-10-11, 07:13 PM   #6
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Default Re: Deaf/Speech Disability Adoption...selfish..?

It's how you love them, kate, not what they have to love.










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Old 05-10-11, 07:14 PM   #7
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Default Re: Deaf/Speech Disability Adoption...selfish..?

I don't think it'd be selfish at all. People oftentimes forget about children with disability or deafness because they aren't the "perfect" children. They're the children people look over because they don't know how to handle them.

Please bear with me, its hard to not switch to Christianese... But if you feel you have a passion for this, by all means start exploring it... start learning sign language - start researching - start finding various places you can that would enable you to work with children in these categories.

I think you'd make a great parent in this, by the way.
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Old 05-10-11, 07:14 PM   #8
 
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Default Re: Deaf/Speech Disability Adoption...selfish..?

I suppose.. I just want to make sure id be doing the right thing by the child..








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when all the waters are polluted,
when all the air is unsafe to breathe,
only then will you discover you cannot eat money.
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Old 05-10-11, 07:15 PM   #9
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Default Re: Deaf/Speech Disability Adoption...selfish..?

selfish? nooo. i think it is the opposite actually. you would make the child feel comfortable, especially being patient with him/her.
some people are sooo "picky" when it comes to adoption.
when i was doing research online about adoption, people was specifically a girl, or a boy, from this country, or a specific part of a country. or one family wants a baby a specific age. hair color, etc..
i mean, i see where they are coming from and whatnot.
but if this is something that you want to do in the future, then i fully support it.

but i do not think that it is selfish.

Last edited by Perfect Accident; 05-10-11 at 07:16 PM.. Reason: add
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Old 05-10-11, 07:16 PM   #10
 
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Default Re: Deaf/Speech Disability Adoption...selfish..?

Quote:
Originally Posted by David- View Post
I don't think it'd be selfish at all. People oftentimes forget about children with disability or deafness because they aren't the "perfect" children. They're the children people look over because they don't know how to handle them.

Please bear with me, its hard to not switch to Christianese... But if you feel you have a passion for this, by all means start exploring it... start learning sign language - start researching - start finding various places you can that would enable you to work with children in these categories.

I think you'd make a great parent in this, by the way.
Thank you David, it really means a lot coming from you and the encouragement really helps. Especially the last line.. thank you. <3








When all the trees have been cut down,
when all the animals have been hunted,
when all the waters are polluted,
when all the air is unsafe to breathe,
only then will you discover you cannot eat money.
~ Cree Prophecy ~
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