Okay, i was at a inpatient unit...for 3weeks, and finally i have managed to eat some ice cream- so now i have a dilema i am going to so so FAT, i must burn all these calories, but i can't as i'm like being patrolled around the place. I need to just get all this fat out of me, i'm ballooning like a hippo (no offence to hippos)
I have weigh in tomorrow, so i can't lose it before then as that ways they may lower my food intake, but then if i don't burn it all now i will gain too much f***ing weight.

I have seen what you look like in your pictures and you are not fat, in fact you look seriously skinny. If you continue to loose any more weight I worry you could end up killing yourself. I know you have an eating disorder but you need to get more help otherwise it could be too late.

You need to gain weight to become healthy and not ill. I don't understand how you think you are fat, in one of your pics your legs are thinner than the tree! that is not fat, its concerning. Please get more help.

But...
okay i know i need to accept the treatments i a getting, but then the urge to exercise, to be thin is just to great. I'm constantly scared of taking 2 steps forward and 3 steps back.
I don't know why i just feel so guilty each time i take a morse of food, may its the thing in my head, but who knows.

I am not going to talk about my personal life but I do honestly understand what you are going through and with a little help and support you can get through this. You are not fat and please listen to everyone around you as they are only concerned.

You need to eat otherwise you could end up dead. You need to get over this thinking you are fat and actually take a good look at yourself, you need to realise you are really skinny and you could die if you do not get help. Do you really want to die? I know you don't and if you do not eat or listen to people it could happen.

I will try to listen, i really do but then i just always have doughts in my mind, i mean maybe if i was a little thinner i won't die of heart disease or something. To be honest i don't even want to be super skinny, i just hate fat, i just want to eradicate it from my life.

I feel i that i want to try my friends and councellors etc... about what i am feeling, but the thing is i can't, and whats more infurating is that i know hoe i should do it as well

If you get a little thinner you could die. You seem really fragile and skinny. Why not eat but exercise? It is not about what you eat it is about how much exercise you do. Michael's brother eats junk food every single day and he is really thin. You think he would be fat but it is because he exercises so does not gain any weight.

Although you do not need to exercise. Why not eat fruit and salad? you don't need to eat chocolate etc..

i do try to eat and exercise, but sometimes you just can't bring yourselve to it, it feels like you a betraying something deep within you.
And the eat healthy things thing- well you should tell the unit that- all they do it feed you what they can to make you gain weight.

I'm really concerned about you, I feel you should talk to your parents, your counselors, and doctors.

You are just too skinny. I know it's hard. But I really don't want you to die due to being way skinny.