Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

first of all.... I'm sorry, but ignore Tayune' s advice. This doesn't really stop at this thread either... she... is... I don;t want to say anything bad about her, so I won't. I will that that that piece of advice is completely moronic. calling the police doesn't help. father gets taken away, mother is broken, you two are broken, father gets a fine, MAYBE does some time (not likely) and is forever pissed and might do something even worse. Lives have been taken over less, believe me. Best choice to to try and get her out, to live with a family member, or with you. If you mother would have that. I know my mother took in a child of an abusive household. If the money is the thing, she can get a job and pay you rent. If not, she just needs to get out. The mother does too.


I will tell you honestly and from experience that the police are not the way to go. First of all, unless there is a sign of abuse, he won;t be charged, and subjects of abuse psychologically fear to accuse their abusers, which means he would likely get off scott-free and go back and be even ore aggressive and abusive.

Take it from a guy who, in a year, will be working in social work dealing with situations exactly like this. Going to the authorities is not what you need to do.

It's probably not something you want to discuss here, but you need to address why your mother doesn't want her moving in, and then you need to convince her otherwise. Or you need to convince your girlfriend to go to the police herself.

do
not
go
to
the
police
yourself.


If you do she will psychologically want to punish you, and that might lead to her defending her father, even if he doesn't deserve it. It's a psychological defence mechanism close to displacement, she's mad at you, so she acts it out by protecting him, just to spite you. It may seem ridiculous, but it happens.


I am sorry for the situation you are in, but the thing you need to realize is that, it is HER situation, and you cannot remove from her the right to control her own life. If she doesn't see it as a problem worth dealing with, you can't deal with it for her, you can only try to convince her to.

Live your life, not hers