Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

At the moment I feel like people are taking advantage of my good nature and it's starting to get me really worked up because they will ask me to do something then guilt trip me into doing it knowing full well I will not refuse to help them. When I refuse i just feel awful for doing it but when I ask for help and they say no it makes me mad because I do things for them and they will not help me and don't think a second thought about it.

Advice? also has anyone else had this feeling?

Hello there Joe.
This is a really unfortunate situation to be in... I know a couple of people who are altruistic like this and can't say 'no' when the lines are crossed. What you need to understand is that you need your personal space to solve your own problems too. No one is free of these. So, it's an important exercise to accomplish, when you have friends/relatives that actually would use some of your help - it's perfectly fine to do it, obviously. We're here to build up relationships and help those we love to stay strong and out of trouble.

But the line is crossed as soon as there's the possibility of getting yourself in trouble. Even more if these people seem to abuse their luck and your good-side. You need to stop and think of the errors you're making. Not only you are sinking yourself, but you're also getting humiliated, in a way.
The thing you need to learn is to say 'no' without feeling regrets. Thus, I'd advice you to stand your ground whenever someone wants to trick you into another business that doesn't concern you, while challenging your feelings. You can't always be there for others. You can't always say 'yes'. You need to learn how to be selfish. That's why it's a flaw to be too altruistic or too selfish. The wisdom here is to find the balance between the two.
You need to find your balance. Respect your own problems as you respect other's problems. Respect your own well-being. You need to protect yourself from too much overloading.
Just stand your ground when someone accuses you of being selfish, you know yourself that you've done a lot already, and that's what's important. They'll all eventually learn to respect you and handle their own mess alone.

Good luck dear. (:

Suddenly my eyes are open
Everything comes into focus, oh!
We are all illuminated,
Lights are shining on our faces
We are, we are blinded !
We are, we are blinded !

thank you

You're welc' :3

Suddenly my eyes are open
Everything comes into focus, oh!
We are all illuminated,
Lights are shining on our faces
We are, we are blinded !
We are, we are blinded !

It seems like you tend to get badly affected especially when one of your friends throws you a problem & you're unable to help. The feeling you get is nothing but misery. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Love yourself for being that soft, kind & loving person you are because there aren’t that many people out there like yourself.


You have to find a balance in what you can and can't do for people. It's important for you to learn to say no and not feel guilty about it. Just stop handing out favors side to side. They will eventually back down, when you do refuse to hand out favors explain why you’re backing down and always remember to do so politely.


Being a nice person does not mean that you should allow others to take advantage of you. People only take advantage of those who "allow" them to do so. Stand back from a situation before you decide to interfere. Ask yourself if you are merely helping them because you are a nice person, or if it is because they truly need it. Then decide if you expect something in return...such as respect from that person. If you do, then save your favor. Spend your time with people who make you feel good about yourself. As for those who don't, avoid them regardless of your good nature.

That's exactly what happened to me before!! well..I'm still me..but let's say that now I know how to deal with these situations. I was young and couldn't distinguish between good people and bad ones..I helped everyone that needed help..as long as I could offer it..and then I'd get in trouble..and find no one beside me that would get me out of it..or even be on my side and prove that I'm telling the truth! It kept happening to me till I was fed up..so I started refusing to help if I know that the person asking for it is not worth it or that I'd get in trouble helping her\him out...It hurts a lot when you do that..but it's for your own benefit!

So my advice to you is that you'd offer help when you know that the person is worth it and would never take advantage of your good nature and would probably return your favor..and you should avoid anyone you suspect that he\she would be the opposite of that! I know that it'd be hard to say no..but you can always say it in a nice way that wouldn't hurt the person asking for help by giving reasons why you refused..

hope that would help and good luck!!

If you don't want to do something then don't do it. I understand they'll try and make you feel guilty but you have to think; "if they're making me feel this bad, are they really my friends? Or are they good friends?"

I've been through this before and people who treat you like this know that they're doing it and you need to defend yourself and tell someone that if you don't want to do it, you don't have to. Tell them to do it themselves for once. You're not there to be told what you should do.

Actually, the same thing has happened to me several times. When someone asks a favor of you it's ok to help them out unless you know that doing that favor will hurt you in any way. If someone knows that you are very nice they will sometimes assume that they can use you. About a week ago one of my aquantanes stole something from me and gave it to the person who had been begging me for it. Well, what they had begged me for was not important really, but the fact that they would steal it from me notifies me that they are no longer trustworthy. That person who recieved my stolen posession asked to borrow something from me and i declined. If someone like that is capable of stealing something from you they are no longer trustworthy with anything. This is just one example of one of the posisions you might be in. I hope this helped!!